Monday, December 04, 2006

What To Avoid at Christmas

Kitschy Nativity Scene

Bad Opening Paragraph of a Christmas Novel

"Christmas Eve fell upon the piazza, and the pealing, the tintinnabulous pealing, (perhaps not a pealing but an incessant tinkling, albeit an appealing incessant tinkling) of the street performers reached my ears, masking the shot, which would have rung out had not the tintinnabulations raised such an incessant tinkling that the sound died as dead as the musician who fell like Christmas Eve at my feet - his bell having been rung." Ben Ross Lexington, NC
Bulwar-Lytton Contest

Avoid at ALL times, not just Christmas, but certainly avoid just for the title and cover alone.

I don't know about you, but Jello slathered with mayonnaise is just wrong!

Jello Salad with Mayo

* 2 cups boiling water
* 2 6 ounce packages lime Jello
* 2 cups sugar
* 5 or 6 celery sticks
* Can of mandarin oranges
* 5 bananas, the browner the better
* 1/2 bag of mini-marshmallows
* Mayonnaise

Pour boiling water over the lime Jello and stir until dissolved. Add sugar and fruits. Pour into greased Jello mold and chill until set.
When ready to serve, invert and slather with mayo. Serves 30

We love to sing Christmas songs, but try your best not to sing this song...or any of the "Redneck Christmas Songs"

I know this is potentially blasphemous, but try, really try to have a Christmas without Thomas Kincaid.
At this point, some of you are thinking...Now she has stepped over the line!


At 10:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, but it would be so much fun to have someone read a Christmas story out loud with the word "tintinnabulous" in it. Just say "tintinnabulous" 3x really fast...I smell a holiday drinking game coming on.

Nobody can resist the white porcelain characters in the "Precious Moments" nativity scene. You should see the 2 dimensional gauche duplication of the "Sistine Chapel" at the Precious Moments landmark. It brought tears to my eyes...

I'm just waiting for a nativity scene with poodles. Now that would be a tear jerker.

At 10:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wouldn't want to see "Princess, the Day After Christmas" after seeing the Knight before...I may not be able to tell them apart.

I don't know what's worse: the jello with mayo or the person who thinks it's delicious.


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