Thank God I am not like him!

I have been thinking of a song I heard recently. The music is beautiful, the lyrics somewhat horrific. What struck me the most were the last four lines. As I cringe at the first part of the song, knowing the story behind the lyrics is about a serial killer, it is the last four lines that slay me. In my best behavior, I am just like him. I think one of the reasons I react to finger pointing in the Body of Christ is not that I don't want truth proclaimed and protected, but because deep down inside I am capable of sins just as dark as John Wayne Gacy Jr. My thoughts and heart can be just as wicked. The lyrics that follow are explicit in some ways so read with caution.

John Wayne Gacy, Jr.
Sufjan Stevens lyrics

His father was a drinker
And his mother cried in bed
Folding John Wayne's T-shirts
When the swingset hit his head
The neighbors they adored him
For his humor and his conversation
Look underneath the house there
Find the few living things
Rotting fast in their sleep of the dead
Twenty-seven people, even more
They were boys with their cars, summer jobs
Oh my God Are you one of them?
He dressed up like a clown for them
With his face paint white and red
And on his best behavior
In a dark room on the bed he kissed them all
He'd kill ten thousand people
With a sleight of his hand
Running far, running fast to the dead
He took off all their clothes for them
He put a cloth on their lips
Quiet hands, quiet kiss
On the mouth

And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floorboards
For the secrets I have hid

I heard another song recently that is in stark contrast to Sufjan's song. Some of the lyrics are as follows.

Grace Unmeasured by Bob Kauflin

Grace unmeasured, vast and free
That knew me from eternity
That called me out before my birth
To bring You glory on this earth
Grace amazing, pure and deep
That saw me in my misery
That took my curse and owned my blame
So I could bear your righteous name.

Grace, grace, grace
Paid for my isns and brought me to life
Grace, grace, grace
Clothes me with power to do what is right
Grace, grace, grace
Will lead me to heaven where I'll see your face
And never cease to thank you for Your grace

So, we all know the sovereignty and providence of God in our lives. Why am I Candy instead of John Wayne Gacy, Jr.? Wow....it continues to amaze me that He chose me to be his child!!! We can only thank Him for his grace in our lives and point others to the cross. Lest you think that I don't avail myself of finger pointing, here is an illustration of my own self righteousness. My husband asked me recently if I would ever see a Woody Allen movie again. I blustered my way through all of Woody Allen's sins and why I think he is a disgusting person. My husband then pointed me to this article I Thank God I am Not Like Woody Allen

Another interesting article that somewhat goes along with this idea is over at Challies, where he writes about little sins. Even though we may not commit glaring overt sins, we commit heinous sins in our hearts. I also think that while we spend time discussing issues like drinking alcohol or the more obvious works of the flesh, we don't as easily address some of the works of the flesh such as lewdness, idolatry, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, envy,..... and the like (Galations 5:19-21). So, when I say "thank God I am not like him" my heart should be broken. My heart should be broken for the sin in the world that enabled John Wayne Gacy Jr. to commit horrible acts, my heart should be broken for men like Woody Allen who so blatantly step over the line in their lives, and my heart should be broken for my own sins, for underneath the floorboards are the secrets I have hid.